When time can’t catch up with you, there’s nothing, no life ahead.

I was so exited and I had sort of prepared myself well. I rushed down the 150 steps to catch the 10 am bus and in the last minute I was on it. Phew… that was a race, but so far so good. This was planning at the highest level and I had set up a goal to be out there at the cliff path two hours earlier than when I was here last time in January and I did it.

However, what about Sunday and Monday? Sorry to say I didn’t go cliff path walking; something came up that needed my full attention. Strange place this Guernsey Island? As an island you don’t expect certain things to be there so you really never look (negative thinking). But positive me did that anyway and hopefully my unexpected discovery will pay off in the end. Yes it’s about money and all those nitty-gritty things we need to survive. Hmm… I wonder?

However, the bus delivered me in time for my second day of cliff walking. Yes! Down the stairs like I had done nothing else and out on the path taking me back to town. I was eager and I was pleased with myself, and I felt happy… I stopped. I looked behind me… nothing! I continued my walk in the same sort of pace… I stopped. I looked behind me… still nothing. I looked in front of me… nothing.

What was this—something was missing. I truly felt lost—something wasn’t right and I had no clue. I walked some steps more like trying to force it. I stopped and looked around myself … and again, what is this? Two more steps forward…, no this isn’t right and I felt it in my whole body; something had changed and I came to a stand still.

I hadn’t come far on the path and there was still a bit to walk before passing Deep Sea. To some extent this had become some kind of transport distance, like walking up and down taking no notice. However, there was something more and standing there still at the path like a pillar not moving or doing anything, I slowly started to feel it.

Time: have you ever felt time? I know about watches, I have one… all right several, Marianne most likely would point out to me, that some I can’t read without glasses. Okay, I bought those watches because I liked the style, they looked nice and they matched some of my outfits. I know, not very practical and all that, but anyway. In fact, rather embarrassing when somebody asks you about the time and you can’t even see the pointers.

Time: I felt it coming up from behind as I stood there like stuck in the ground. I didn’t see anything, but as I didn’t move or do anything, that feeling became stronger and stronger. When I say I didn’t do anything, I also cut out thinking, that jelly thing put up on a stick between our shoulders. Positive thinking… ha!

It started to occur to me that my thinking had been 110% occupied with my business, money and all that and that I unconsciously had rushed the path from first moment. I had to wait, time wasn’t with me anymore and nature no longer spoke to me. I wonder; is life a dimension where time only runs in a certain speed? Is there an opening in time, like a bulge on a thin pipe, the only place where life can exist?

I stopped thinking even more and noticed that I had placed myself right under a small tree, and as I stood there I started to hear something. There were insects, these tiny creatures that I had walked away from, there were bird sounds, the wind, even if it wasn’t blowing, there were grasses of various kinds, bushes, and suddenly everything was like coming up from behind. I stood there watching and feeling, like for about fifteen minutes waiting. Even though happy and all that I had stressed my thinking and tried to run ahead of time where no life can exist. Nature where I had forced myself was only present like a two-dimensional picture, no more. Suddenly I started to realize that nature was so much more than that and as I stood there waiting, nature grew in me.

That tree I looked up to from time to time kept me company and when we both were in harmony and the time felt right we separated as friends. I turned my head several times along the path to watch my new-found friend from a distance and now I saw it, there was something and the little tree were there to teach me. I didn’t walk the same anymore and I didn’t think the same either. Within the life/time bubble we can only travel in a certain speed or pace if you like. Trying to stress it, divert from ourselves, suppress and deny our feelings or refuse to follow would only narrow our minds, like if that time pipe was getting thinner and thinner till ending up as a solid wire only good for harsh data.

I think I spent almost an hour more out there on the path than intended and I stayed there in my time bubble experiencing new wonderful things. Same path, oh yes, but time in its widest meaning possesses a power far beyond human understanding, and nature is like a guiding star determining the pace.

Deep Sea was there and welcomed me as I passed. I went down to the Lion on the beach, but he wasn’t there. The tide had gone down considerably since Saturday and I thought I’d find him there lying on the beach like before waiting for me to come and visit. How on earth could he just disappear like that…? I mean a huge rock with sea weed on top… argh! What am I doing? Negative thinking, twee, twee and all that, how hard can it be? It took me a couple of minutes to erase that thinking, whatever, the Lion was not there. However, then other parts of the Lion’s beach opened up and showed itself, as if it was intended, as if I was invited to the Lion’s home.

I must say that that Lion beach is magical when the time is right. It so much differs from the other beaches here on Guernsey, but you need to give it a chance. I did that and got amazed. I went out in top gear for this cliff walk, full throttle, and ended up standing still.

I did leave the home of the Lion both happy and content, and up on the path again, or rather a bit down beside it, I spotted Mr. Stone again like he the first time had played some hide and seek game with me. Obviously he didn’t hurry, he took his time. But even so, I still have that marble stone from Saturday and taking it home with me will bring us close. The positive part of this is not about having been there or having done that like leaving and closing the door behind. Instead I left my door open in a wider meaning, to explore and learn about the source and secrets of life.

I think nature talks to us in so many ways. Walking the path I started to absorb all these impressions, and there is a part of the path, still ahead of me waiting, like if I was waiting for myself. I don’t know how far this trip to Guernsey will take me and I guess only time will tell. But… whenever, whatever, I’m positive.

I wonder, why on earth divide time in seconds, minutes or hours, and present, past or future, when time is now? Aren’t all those attempts forcing it (time I mean) making us a part of an illusion as if we don’t live now? We… at least I exist now and nowhere else than here where I’m now, and I’m enjoying my positive thinking.