Sneery Departure

Shaggy ran from Tobias’ show straight to the yard in front of the school, where he stood waiting for his gang to catch up with him. He was angry and scared, which together meant he needed to take control again. He needed to show that nobody could get away with humiliating him like that freak had. Shaggy wasn’t sure about Tobias, if he would attempt to attack him or had his own gun, but there had to be something he could do to get back at him. 

For instance, there was the purple car parked outside the school gates. Nobody had touched it. After a fast conference with his gang, Shaggy focused his sights on that car. This silly purple luxury car covered with chrome needed to be stolen.

No problem—that weirdo magic guy had left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition, so it just sat there as if it were waiting for them. Shaggy was the first to sit in the driver’s seat while the others looked around as if hesitating. Tobias’s actions for a few second made them back off.

“COME ON! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” Shaggy shouted with his hand on the ignition.

Five of his boys squeezed in beside him and in the back, and then he turned the key. The car engine made a sound as if it were starting, but not quite. The motor turned over all right and the car seemed to start and run, but before Shaggy could put it in first gear, the engine died. He tried again, and again the engine died before he could get it in gear. Shaggy tried a couple more times, and then in fury and frustration he banged his hands hard on the wheel, like he was close to exploding. His boys sat still and silent.

The next time he tried, the engine started with a roar and stayed running, and Shaggy stepped on the gas like he was going to take out all his anger right there. The engine screamed as Shaggy revved it repeatedly, on and on, with the pedal hard to the floor.

“YEAH! FUCK YOU!” he yelled so all could hear, especially the students who had begun to assemble curiously, but from a safe distance.

Now with a superior smile Shaggy put the purple car in first gear to take off with a flying start, but again the engine died with a chugging, silly sound and then a small, delayed pop after the crankshaft’s last turn.

Shaggy’s temperature rose several degrees and then he went silent. His boys in the car didn’t dare move or do anything to try to help, as Shaggy just sat there staring at the wheel, trying to gain control. After about ten seconds, he tried to start the car again calmly.

The engine turned and there was a chugging sound beneath the hood, a sound remarkably similar to a boisterous chicken coop. After about ten seconds Shaggy turned it off, and the sound stopped with that one delayed pop added as an insult. Shaggy tried again and conjured only the chicken coop. He hung on to the key, and the chicken coop sound grew, and damn, didn’t it sound like pig grunts were coming from the exhaust pipe in the back, too?

Now Shaggy got really mad. He hammered the wheel with his fists and grabbed it and shook it and screamed. Those words he mumbled after that, before trying to start the car for the last time, were like hell fire coming from his mouth.

Then there was a five-second silence. Shaggy turned the key and the engine started cleanly, no chugging, no pops and puffs, no nothing. He just sat there for a while listening.

Shaggy carefully grabbed the gear stick … and then again… and again. The stick seemed loose somehow and wouldn’t go into gear. He tried every gear and position. He stomped on the gas pedal, well yes, every pedal there was, and he hammered the wheel again. He gave the engine gas high up and down like it was running wild and shouted some more. After at least a minute like that he turned the engine off, but as it came to a stop it made that chicken coop chugging, pig grunt sound, and again this one small pop to round it off.

Shaggy went berserk and broke the key in the ignition. He then bent and broke the gear stick to ground the car there at the street. Next he screamed out orders to two of his boys to find some crowbars and to the others to grab their knives. He got out and waited for them, pacing.

Glad to finally know what they were supposed to be doing, the young men cut the white leather seats up completely. When the others returned with several crowbars, Shaggy grabbed the biggest bar and smashed the windshield. The others smashed the back and side windows too. In fact they hacked at everything they could to try to keep up with Shaggy’s fury.

While they were at it, they didn’t notice four big black cars slowly driving by, stopping along the street surrounding them. Eight white men stepped out of the cars and spread around to secure the area before they silently approached Shaggy, still hammering at the car wildly.

Shaggy was about to deliver yet another fatal blow over the front left fender when a strong arm grabbed his wrist from behind, making him drop the bar with a clang to the street. Shaggy’s boys had also been caught by the other men now taking over the scene. They were obviously not the police, and they were huge. These men exuded nothing but trouble, and the one who had grabbed Shaggy looked the worst.

Shaggy was turned and pushed up hard to the driver’s side door against its broken window frame.

“So, what do you think you’re doing?” the man said to him in a threatening tone.

Shaggy was pressed so hard on to the car that he had to be released a bit so he could answer. But before he opened his mouth, an oddly light-hearted voice came from the sidewalk.

“Hello!”

That voice Shaggy unfortunately recognized.

“That’s him! It his car!” Shaggy claimed, like he was trying to swear himself free.

The big white man loosened his grip a bit more so Shaggy could turn and point out Tobias.  He couldn’t find him though.

“Which one is he?!” the grip holding Shaggy tightened again.

Shaggy did recognize Patrick standing on the sidewalk, and his eyes moved to the man standing beside him wearing a similar grin. That’s when he realized Tobias was indeed there. Tobias’s stone-hard eyes looking straight at him were now laughing.

“There he is! It’s his car! We haven’t done nothing to you!  Ask them—you can ask anyone. He drove the car and parked it here.”

The man holding Shaggy looked around at the crowd that was once again large outside the school. No one seemed to recognize Tobias now; at least they couldn’t be sure; not a single nod or sound confirmed what Shaggy had said. However, the man did turn to Tobias without letting Shaggy go.

“How about it?” He asked Tobias.

“What? I don’t know what he’s talking about. That’s my car,” Tobias said, pulling some keys from his pocket as evidence and pointing.

“That one, the blue one there, three down,” Tobias said, pointing out an ordinary-looking blue Ford hatchback.

“So, who are you?” the man asked firmly, looking a bit irritated by Tobias’s smile.

“I’m the school building inspector.  I just investigated a complaint with my apprentice here,” Tobias happily answered.

“NO, NO, he’s not! He’s lying, he’s lying!” Shaggy was even more scared now.

“Well, you can ask him,” Tobias said, pointing at Patrick as there was nothing to it.

“That’s right. We’ve been up on the third floor checking a leaking toilet; no big deal really. And now Mr. Spaceball and I are going to another school to check some rerouted pipes,” Patrick happily explained.

“Spaceball? What the hell kind of name is that?” the man said, while wrinkling his face.

Tobias only nodded. The man seemed to not want to continue this silly talk any longer, so Tobias and Patrick turned to the blue car. Apparently no one was going to stop them, so they walked over to the car together and got in, Tobias in the driver’s seat and Patrick beside him, with no further questions asked.

Shaggy saw them slip away, taking all his credibility with them.

“What the hell…?” Shaggy went furious now. “I’LL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!” He shouted out wildly after the blue car.  There was a muffled sound as a hard blow to his stomach silenced him.

Tobias took his time maneuvering out from the parking place in the same unselfconscious manner as when he had arrived. Nobody dared to speak out. The rumor that had spread like fire about Tobias and what had happened in that classroom assured that nobody would want to point him out, even if they had recognized him. And no one wanted to mess with Patrick either.

Tobias and Patrick pulled away.

After only a block down the street Tobias couldn’t hold back any longer. “Good God!” he laughed out loud. “Mr. Spaceball? What on Earth gave you that idea?”

“Well, you told me about your magic, with all that locked in space stuff and that basketball and all. So!”

Tobias laughed even louder, looking over at Patrick appreciably now and then as he drove.

After a while Patrick asked, “But what about that car you showed up in?”

“Well, with some help, I stole that car, but it’s not just any car, you know. A few neighborhoods over an Italian gang runs the prostitution, drugs, and all that. And the meanest guy running the show in that part of the city has some bizarre ideas, like that car for instance. So a couple of days ago I stole it, and later that night there was a huge reward announced among gangs. If anyone provides information on that car, the reward is his. So after I parked it in front of your school this morning someone made a phone call saying where to find it. So there you are.”

Patrick thought for a while and then asked, “What do you think’ll happen to Shaggy now?”

“Oh yeah, that’s something to think about. Hmm… I think there’s a saying: “They’re in deep shit,” if you know what I mean. I don’t think they’ll get away smashing that car no matter what, and who would believe them not stealing it in the first place? What do you think?”

“No, I guess not. Those guys back there seemed to be dead serious. Do you think they’ll kill them?”

“Most likely, most likely, I think. Do you care?”

“Not really. They were no good anyway; they treated me like crap.”

There was yet another short pause.

Patrick asked, “But this car then, did you know all along what was going to happen?”

Tobias smiled. Then in confidence he leaned towards his new young friend a bit, whispering, “Tell you what, now we’ll go and meet up with the others and have some fun. I’m sure they’ll approve of letting you in on this.”

…

To be continued next Friday.