Li, when I was studying feminist theory in school, I read and talked about how powerful language is in gender identification, and in turn how that identification guides us, traps us, whatever. When I first started thinking about gender like this, how so much of how we related to each other has to with our gender, I was almost panicked. It was like all I could see was this tight wrapper around each person and there was no way to get out of the wrapper - no matter how you act or insist on being treated, our culture's gender associations are so strong we're stuck in this wrapper. Some people talk about this person inside us, what you call the soul. Unmarred by societal gender associations. I haven't found this soul yet I don't think. I'm open to it though.