I very much recognize what you describe here Jacqui (20mar2009-02:37am), I too had some ideals I believed in as young. I guess as young we have a lot of ideas on how we want things to be, but not yet enough experience and knowledge on how things really are. One thing that really struck me after my transition was that I never got valued before my transition as man in the same way as other men did. I was never in question when it came to promotion, career and those things. I was never really invited into the “Men’s world”, even though by flesh I was a man and my behavior as man never was questioned. So to me this male/female difference seems to go even deeper than just body and appearance.